“I love you, too. I love you so much.” She doesn’t realize it, but she rocks her a little as if to soothe her, to somehow make this hurt less as she rests her head against hers. She used to do this with Claire once upon a time, trying to help her feel better whenever she would fall and scrape her knee or her arm, but this is so much worse. Her sister is dying, and there’s nothing she can do to stop it.

At her apology, Allison turns to her as she shakes her head. “No, you don’t— You have nothing to apologize for, Vanya. You never did anything wrong.”

Not before, and not now. Even back in the cabin, Allison still firmly believes it had been her own fault for pushing her. Ultimately Vanya has always been the collateral damage of everything their father and even they have done, and she hates that this is no exception. That she’s suffering the consequences of her sister rumoring the man that shot her, and now here they are. Vanya is bleeding out in her arms.

“We never deserved you,” she says tearily, fighting back a sob that threatens to choke the air right out of her. Please don’t leave, she wants to cry, the pleas that she had cried out as Ben died resurfacing as they’re facing another loss. Another sibling they can’t save, and this one is solely on her.

Please don’t leave me, she thinks as she buries her face in her hair for a moment, but she can’t put that on Vanya. She hadn’t asked for this, she’s not choosing to go.

You failed, Number Three, she hears Reginald sneer in her head. You killed her.

“I love you, sis,” she says before she kisses her forehead, her tears making it hard to see. “I love you so much.”