Allison smiles faintly with a quiet thanks at his compliment. She certainly doesn’t mind it; the apartment itself is nice for what it is, this tiny little refuge in the chaos that is the multiverse. But, it has been hard to really make it be home, when her world feels like it’s split in multiple pieces. In a 2019 that doesn’t exist anymore, where her daughter still lives. In 1963, in a little home with a corner lot, where she and Ray were living together. And here, in 2020, in a city that doesn’t even exist back home, where she has a bond with Klaus and some of their friends that they wouldn’t have back in their own world.
It feels unfair, that she keeps stumbling into good things that deep down she can’t keep. Claire, Ray, even Eglaf - they’re all part of something that she knows she has to give up to save their world, and as she goes to the kitchen to get him a glass of water, it feels like a knot wedges in her throat. It makes her think of Luther, of what he told her in her kitchen back in Dallas. How they were special, how people like them could never have normalcy, and she hates it because she knows he’s right. Hasn’t that been abundantly clear by now?
She focuses on Ray, though, and after she gives him a glass of water, she takes his free hand and guides him over to the living room where they could sit on the couch. If she’s going to dump more information on him, he might as well be comfortable.
“I was actually here before Dallas,” she admits with a small sigh. “I just didn’t remember that part when I landed there in the sixties. I’m not sure why, but it’s as if your memory gets wiped and you only remember being here once you arrive. I was here for almost two months, I think, before I was ported out to Dallas.”
She’s not sure if he’ll believe her; after all, she had kept so much from him back then. Where she came from, who she really was, what she could do. She always told herself it was to protect him, but she knows damn well it had been done to protect herself as well.
At his question, she a small smile crosses her lips as she reaches over for his hand. “No, it’s not ending. Whatever we did in the sixties, it stopped the world from ending. I was able to go home long enough to see that, before I was dragged here again.” There’s no victorious smile, though. No celebration, no excitement at the fact that the world had ended. How could she? They had won, but they had lost. She had lost everything.
“I’ve been back here for over a month,” she continues. “Time is different here. I was in Dallas for over two years, but it was barely two days here. There are a lot of people like us, who have been transported here from our home worlds. Some of my siblings are actually around, too.” She looks down at his hand in hers, and she finds herself smiling. Because despite how much has happened, how much she has been trying to just survive with the heartbreak that seems to swallow her whole every time she breathes, she finds herself more at ease right now. He’s here. He’s really here, and it’s as if that gaping wound she keeps trying to ignore isn’t bleeding so profusely at least at the moment.
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It feels unfair, that she keeps stumbling into good things that deep down she can’t keep. Claire, Ray, even Eglaf - they’re all part of something that she knows she has to give up to save their world, and as she goes to the kitchen to get him a glass of water, it feels like a knot wedges in her throat. It makes her think of Luther, of what he told her in her kitchen back in Dallas. How they were special, how people like them could never have normalcy, and she hates it because she knows he’s right. Hasn’t that been abundantly clear by now?
She focuses on Ray, though, and after she gives him a glass of water, she takes his free hand and guides him over to the living room where they could sit on the couch. If she’s going to dump more information on him, he might as well be comfortable.
“I was actually here before Dallas,” she admits with a small sigh. “I just didn’t remember that part when I landed there in the sixties. I’m not sure why, but it’s as if your memory gets wiped and you only remember being here once you arrive. I was here for almost two months, I think, before I was ported out to Dallas.”
She’s not sure if he’ll believe her; after all, she had kept so much from him back then. Where she came from, who she really was, what she could do. She always told herself it was to protect him, but she knows damn well it had been done to protect herself as well.
At his question, she a small smile crosses her lips as she reaches over for his hand. “No, it’s not ending. Whatever we did in the sixties, it stopped the world from ending. I was able to go home long enough to see that, before I was dragged here again.” There’s no victorious smile, though. No celebration, no excitement at the fact that the world had ended. How could she? They had won, but they had lost. She had lost everything.
“I’ve been back here for over a month,” she continues. “Time is different here. I was in Dallas for over two years, but it was barely two days here. There are a lot of people like us, who have been transported here from our home worlds. Some of my siblings are actually around, too.” She looks down at his hand in hers, and she finds herself smiling. Because despite how much has happened, how much she has been trying to just survive with the heartbreak that seems to swallow her whole every time she breathes, she finds herself more at ease right now. He’s here. He’s really here, and it’s as if that gaping wound she keeps trying to ignore isn’t bleeding so profusely at least at the moment.
“I can’t believe you’re really here.”