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The way he removes his hat, the way it’s pressed against his chest, it’s a movement that’s so uniquely Ray that it feels like it knocks the air right out of her lungs. Because, even without a verbal confirmation, her heart knows that it’s him. It’s the man that hadn’t minded a woman that was reluctant to share much about her past. It’s the man that had loved her, flaws and all; a man that hadn’t wasted any time in proposing to her with a beautiful ring that she still wears every day. Because even now, even knowing damn well that she’ll never see him again, she can’t let him go yet. Despite their goodbyes, the closure that she tells herself they got in whatever way they could, she still misses him.

She still loves him, so much that when he says her name, it makes a teary laugh get caught in the back of her throat.

Allison Chestnut. It’s not a name that anyone in Eglaf uses - it’s one that she herself doesn’t even use because she’s not ready to really talk about the second marriage she has failed at, but the familiarity of it feels as if it makes her heart skip a beat.

“Yeah, it’s me.” The confirmation is barely out of her mouth before she’s already wrapping her arms around him, holding him close. Because she needs to make sure this isn’t some sort of dream; she needs to make sure it’s him. That he’s real. That he’s here, and she can only hold onto him tighter as if to make sure he won’t disappear.

“God, I’ve missed you so much,” she breathes after a moment, but not pulling back yet. She can’t. She has been longing for this for so long, that she’s not ready to let go of him yet. “Are you okay? Did you just get here?”

The confirmation in the sound of her voice is all he needs and his arms wrap around her so tightly, drawing her into his chest as though to press her into his very soul. (She's already there, a year-shaped mark curled around his heart in a way that will never fade). He breathes her in, pressing his face against her hair. His wife. The woman he resigned to never seeing again in this lifetime, and yet here she is, as radiant as the day she left.

"Babe, is this real? This can't be real."

He laughs, watery and desperate against her ear, broad palms splayed along her back, traveling the line of her spine until he touches her hair, cradling her as though she might be the most precious thing on the planet. Precious, but not fragile, just as he left her.

"I just got dropped off out front. I'd say you'd never believe it for a second, but I know you would," he breathes and he draws back slightly so the hand in her hair can reach to cradle her face in one palm as he drinks in the sight of her, committing this to his memory as hard as he can because the thought of losing her again damn near takes the heart out of his chest. He knows he will lose her again, be it another year, be it a minute, he knows that, but if he can burn this into his mind just as well as he as committed their goodbyes to the backs of his eyelids at night, then—

"I've missed you," he says finally, eyes burning despite how he desperately tries to keep them at bay. But he leans in and kisses her, desperate and wanting and pleading, because if this is some dream, some wild tale spun by his body giving way in another time, he can't let her go so quickly. He has so many questions, but he doesn't want to waste time, if it's limited, on questions, on what-ifs and hows. A life with Allison is a life of unending question sidled up to bottomless adventure, unending love, a warmth that all but threatens to eat him alive.

Unconsciously she holds onto him tighter, because deep down that's what she's thinking, too. That this can't be real, that he can't be here. He's supposed to be home, in Dallas. He's supposed to be leading the movement, he's supposed to be changing the world. Because, she knows, if anyone can do it, it's Raymond Chestnut. If anyone has the conviction, the heart to do it, it's Ray, and it's part of the reason why she hadn't tried to convince him to leave with her. It's why she hadn't done more to beg him to come with her, why when she and Sirius talked about going to the past, she didn't think about going to the sixties. Ray still had his fight, after all; she had hers. Their life together wasn't meant to extend for longer than the year they had, because that's just how her life and luck work.

But he's here, solid and breathing, and Allison has to fight back the tears that she can already feel in her eyes. Tears of happiness, tears of disbelief, and a sense of fear that she can't quite get rid of because she doesn't know if she can say goodbye to him again. She doesn't know if she has it in her to withstand yet another loss, when the first one had felt like it had knocked her down despite the fact that she has been hiding it as well as she can.

She can feel a few tears spill, though, when he cradles her face and she unconsciously tilts her head in that direction as she closes her eyes for a moment as if to savor the sensation. This way that he has had from the beginning, his ability to help her feel safe. To make her so damn happy with just his presence alone.

Just as she's about to tell him that she has missed him, too, he's leaning in to kiss her and she kisses him back. A hand moves to the front of his shirt, clutching tightly to pull him in closer, to not let him go. It leaves her breathless, but despite it, it also makes her feel more alive than she has been in weeks.

"I've missed you, too," she finally says, moving her other hand to brush her fingers gently along his face. He's here. He's here, and she kisses him again. This time a bit slower as if to savor the moment; that taste of his lips that she feared she would never be able to have again.

When she pulls back, it's only enough to look at him again, to smile at him when it hits her again that he's still here, he hasn't disappeared. "We should get you inside," she suggests, even if she hasn't really made any real attempt to move. Her hand remains clutching at his shirt, her fingers brush gently against his cheek. "I can fill you in on whatever you want. I've been here for a little while, so...I can give you the cash course."

The way their bodies slot back into place, the way his hand remembers the easy weight of her cheek in his hand, the curl of her fingers in his shirt, the warmth of her against his chest— it's like they never parted ways. It's a return to home in a way he never would have imagined.

When they part from the second kiss, he doesn't move, letting the city hum around them as he looks down at her, at the watery smile, and it's his turn to tilt his head just so into the brush of her fingers. "I think I'm gonna need more than the crash course," he says finally, with a laugh that bubbles out if his chest, rich and honest and deep. "One second I was on the streets of Dallas— you won't believe what we've accomplished— and the next, I was sitting in some orientation with some stuffy business types, and nothing they said made any sense."

He laughs again, thumb softly tracking over the rise of her cheekbone, hand moving to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "And you know what I thought when I walked up that drive? There's this lady I knew, prettiest gal in all of Texas. She might have the answers. Lo and behold..." Ray can't help but draw her in again, turning his head to press a kiss to her crown, eyes closing against the autumn sun.

But Allison Chestnut is the woman capable of doing the impossible, isn't she? The woman who seemed to pull him in the moment he laid eyes on her, with sharp eyes and a knowing smile. But something about her... the way the whole world seemed to revolve around her, how time seemed to stop at the faintest tilt of her head, the wave of her hand. There's power and beauty in the impossible, and Ray can see that now more than ever.

God, she thinks, she has missed his laugh so much. It makes one of her own bubble out of her throat, and she gently smooths his shirt as he speaks, just how she used to do back home.

She pauses, though, when he tucks her hair behind her ear, and she grins up at him as he speaks. At his compliment, at the way he was already thinking of her, and she hugs him, nestling her face close to the crook of his neck.

"I'm not sure if I have all the answers, but I have been here for a few months now, so I guess you can say I'm a little used to it." She gives him a gentle squeeze before pulling back just enough to kiss his cheek. "Also, for the record - I will believe what you've accomplished because I know you, Raymond Chestnut. But I'm very excited to hear all about it."

"A few months?" He draws back almost instantly, staring down in surprise, his hands sliding up from her arms to cradle her face, worry working its way into his expression. "You were supposed to be going back home. And unless I'm not mistaken, this place is pretty far away."

From New York, from Dallas, a different year, from whatever strange timeline they originally came from. (He feels like a madman thinking like that, because he still doesn't really understand it all). But it seems nice, at the very least. Things are blowing up, there aren't any immediate signs that some kind of wild, impending apocalypse is on the horizon for them.

Ray finally draws back, running a hand over his face long enough to help clear his mind. Inside, she said they could go inside, right. He dips to pick up his hat, setting it back atop his head if only to free up a hand to take one of hers, his other reaching for the door again. "Maybe we should talk inside where it's cooler." Where he can sit with her and breathe and soak her up, even if he's still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"I have a feeling I'm going to want to sit down for this one."

The worry on his face makes her heart clench, because she doesn't quite know how to break it to him that she broke both their hearts for nothing. She had managed to get back home, but it had been pointless. Sure, they had managed to save the world, but Claire had been lost in the process. All their lives had been blown to bits, and the selfish part of her often finds herself wondering what the hell had been the point of any of it if they had ended up losing, anyway?

There's no point in covering any of that while they're standing outside of the building, though, so she just musters up a smile as best as she can. One that silently assures him that she'll explain it to him, one that tries to make it seem as if she's okay, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. Ray, she knows, will probably catch that, but...she'll tell him everything inside.

When he slips his hand in hers, she gives his hand a squeeze before walking inside with him. She stays close to him, and as they walk, she brings his hand up to her lips so she can kiss his knuckles. Despite the insanity of this place, the way that everything feels like it has been turned upside down, she can't help but feel thankful for having him here, for seeing him again, and there's a brief moment where she can't help but steal a glance as if to make sure he's still here with her.

Instead of asking him where he's staying, she takes him back to her apartment. She hasn't bothered decorating how she did in her first round in Eglaf, there are still a few things she has added to make it feel like home - the fresh flowers on the table by the entrance and the coffee table, the blanket draped on the side of the couch. Little things to make herself feel more at ease, even if they hardly work at times.

But, Ray is with her now and it feels surreal to let him inside her apartment. To actually see him standing here, with her, and for a moment it's as if she forgets to speak because her brain is still trying to catch up in both disbelief and happiness at it all.

"Do you...want something to drink? Or do you want to just jump straight in?" It feels a little cruel to do that, but she'll take his lead. She had decided to be fully honest with him at some point before everything went to hell, and that resolution is still something she's holding onto now. At least, she thinks, he has witnessed more than she could have ever told him about. He's technically in the future, further than 2019 like she had originally told him, so now she doesn't have to worry about explaining that part since he's currently living it as well.

"I'd ask if you're okay, but...I'm sure this is a lot to wrap your head around."

Edited 2020-11-28 07:08 (UTC)

Stepping into the apartment feels like stepping into another world. This whole experience has felt otherworldly, and in a way, it is. But to see an apartment that belongs to Allison, that isn't their cozy little home in Dallas, feels foreign and strange. But he looks around, at the furniture (modern for this time? expensive?) and the appliances he doesn't recognize, at the life he's not a part of.

"This is real nice," he smiles, because she deserves something nice, she deserves a slice of something like this if that's the only good life can throw at her. What he wouldn't give to give her so much more than all of this.

"I'm guessing this isn't your first go around with stuff like this," he gestures vaguely, meaning both the time travel, other worlds. "Well, of course it's not." He smiles to himself, cautiously reminding himself that Dallas hadn't been Allison's real home, but had only been her first stop on the way back home. But he takes in a deep breath and nods to her.

"The world's not ending this time, is it? After everything back home, I thought it might be a safe question to ask. But I'd take a glass of water, if you don't mind." Something to do with his hands, to calm his nerves, to slow his racing heart. Either way, if she moves to the kitchen, he follows, leaning into the doorway. "You've been here months? After Dallas?"

Even now he feels the need to go to her, wants to touch her arm and make sure she's real, that she's not some mirage brought together by a fever dream on the Dallas streets. He let her go back then, because he could see in her eyes that she needed to, that they were both needed somewhere the other couldn't go. Having her here like this, even if it's just for one more moment, is a corner of heaven he never thought he'd reach. It's so good to see you again, but it dies on his tongue. After all, so much has happened since they said their goodbyes.

Allison smiles faintly with a quiet thanks at his compliment. She certainly doesn’t mind it; the apartment itself is nice for what it is, this tiny little refuge in the chaos that is the multiverse. But, it has been hard to really make it be home, when her world feels like it’s split in multiple pieces. In a 2019 that doesn’t exist anymore, where her daughter still lives. In 1963, in a little home with a corner lot, where she and Ray were living together. And here, in 2020, in a city that doesn’t even exist back home, where she has a bond with Klaus and some of their friends that they wouldn’t have back in their own world.

It feels unfair, that she keeps stumbling into good things that deep down she can’t keep. Claire, Ray, even Eglaf - they’re all part of something that she knows she has to give up to save their world, and as she goes to the kitchen to get him a glass of water, it feels like a knot wedges in her throat. It makes her think of Luther, of what he told her in her kitchen back in Dallas. How they were special, how people like them could never have normalcy, and she hates it because she knows he’s right. Hasn’t that been abundantly clear by now?

She focuses on Ray, though, and after she gives him a glass of water, she takes his free hand and guides him over to the living room where they could sit on the couch. If she’s going to dump more information on him, he might as well be comfortable.

“I was actually here before Dallas,” she admits with a small sigh. “I just didn’t remember that part when I landed there in the sixties. I’m not sure why, but it’s as if your memory gets wiped and you only remember being here once you arrive. I was here for almost two months, I think, before I was ported out to Dallas.”

She’s not sure if he’ll believe her; after all, she had kept so much from him back then. Where she came from, who she really was, what she could do. She always told herself it was to protect him, but she knows damn well it had been done to protect herself as well.

At his question, she a small smile crosses her lips as she reaches over for his hand. “No, it’s not ending. Whatever we did in the sixties, it stopped the world from ending. I was able to go home long enough to see that, before I was dragged here again.” There’s no victorious smile, though. No celebration, no excitement at the fact that the world had ended. How could she? They had won, but they had lost. She had lost everything.

“I’ve been back here for over a month,” she continues. “Time is different here. I was in Dallas for over two years, but it was barely two days here. There are a lot of people like us, who have been transported here from our home worlds. Some of my siblings are actually around, too.” She looks down at his hand in hers, and she finds herself smiling. Because despite how much has happened, how much she has been trying to just survive with the heartbreak that seems to swallow her whole every time she breathes, she finds herself more at ease right now. He’s here. He’s really here, and it’s as if that gaping wound she keeps trying to ignore isn’t bleeding so profusely at least at the moment.

“I can’t believe you’re really here.”

Ray follows her to the couch and sits down, turning to face her as she explains. He was right, he needed to be sitting for this. He's glad he's sitting for this, because if he had any difficulty understanding everything she told him before, it's even more convoluted now, and he's stuck right in the middle of it.

"So let me make sure I follow you for a moment. You went home, came here, then to Dallas, then back to New York, and somehow wound up back here?"

He runs a hand over his face, letting his breath out on an overwhelmed sigh. "Back home— Dallas— you've been gone two months. About to go on three. There was a march, and I got this eerie feeling, like the whole world was coming to a stop. When I opened my eyes again, I was in the orientation with those stuffy, office types."

But the fact that she begins to explain that time works differently here, he shakes his head. Of course it does. Of course whatever wild science rules her life is absolutely unpredictable, and as much as he'd like to refute it, to beg for a better explanation, he can see it in her face, in the way she looks at their joined hands, at her smile. This is the Allison he said goodbye to, open and honest and real, and he finds himself trapped for a moment, caught up in watching the tension work its way out of her body with each breath.

He turns to her, glass of water forgotten on the table, and takes up both of her hands, thumbs brushing over the backs of her knuckles, one catching on the ring on her left finger. It feels like years and years and years ago he went to a start-up jeweler, Eisemans or some such, and found the delicate diamond that had her name written all over it. Something about seeing the ring makes him feel dizzy all over again. She's here. She's real. This is real, despite the time between them, despite the goodbyes and the hurt and longing.

"Sorry, baby, this... this is crazy, you know that, right?" He laughs. "That you're there, and I'm here." Ray shakes his head and looks up at her, meeting her eyes. "You're sure this isn't a dream? Because I've had a dream like this before, but it wasn't nearly as bent as this is. I don't want it to be a dream."

“Yeah, that’s...pretty much the gist of it.” As convoluted and confusing as it is, that’s her timeline. “It’s all due to some portals - that’s the whole bullshit they tell you at orientation, as if getting dragged here is easy and then they dump all that on you.”

The annoyance is very much there, because there’s no love loss in any way between Allison and the people behind all this. Especially since she’s pretty damn sure she had been sedated after her second landing, as if somehow that would make her more compliant (and it had worked), but she’s not about to tell him that right now.

Instead, she just listens to him. Takes in the details about how she has been gone for almost three months. How he woke up here, and unconsciously she gives his hand a small squeeze. For someone like Ray, who had a normal life and normal job and didn’t have to deal with this level of insanity, she’s sure that this must be overwhelming. For a moment she wonders if it’s the Hargreeves luck that somehow struck him when he married her; if by association alone it had caused the portal to pick him, to drag him here, and suddenly she isn’t sure if she should tell him how glad she is to see him or apologize for cursing his life by being in it.

“I know,” she assures him with a small laugh of her own, even if it feels like it gets caught in the back of her throat. “I’ve been having that same dream. That somehow I’ll wake up and you’re here, with me. Or that we can go to this beach I really like, and we can just...be.” Her voice is soft, soft in a way that only Patrick and Ray have heard and known, because Allison is generally so guarded. Ray, especially, has seen a side of her that Patrick hardly saw, and it’s in full display now as she cups the side of his face with her hand. As she reimagines a life she feared she had lost after leaving Dallas, and he’s here. Solid and real, with her. “If you’re dreaming, then I’m dreaming, too. I can show you where I work. The restaurants Klaus and I have discovered together that I think you’ll like.” She grins, letting out a breath as it really hits her that this is happening. He’s here. “God, Ray. I’ve missed you so much.”

"Portals."

It's such a strange word, something he's heard in brief showings of the Twilight Zone at the barber shop. But she says it with such ease and the men at the orientation had, too. Portals that pull people through time. Shaking his head, he lets out another bewildered laugh. "You know, I had a feeling about you. When I first saw you I thought, that girl's a unique bird but she's gonna be mine. I don't think I was wrong on either count, but I think I underestimated just what unique was going to mean."

Rumors, time traveling, special powers, strange siblings, all wrapped up in a loving, vibrant, intelligent woman. Unique doesn't begin to cover it. "But here we are. In whatever real world this is. Take me to that beach, or to restaurants or anywhere your heart desires. Like I said before, I don't have much, but what I have is yours, if you'll have me. Here."

His fingers brush over the ring on hers. "I don't know much about this time traveling thing, about portals... but if there's no way back, if everything's frozen until they're fixed, then I guess we have no choice but to move forward until they are. I know we said our goodbyes, Allison, I know that. And I would do it a thousand times over if it meant you got to go home again, but while we're at this intermission, I'd like the opportunity to say hello again."

God, he's missed her. Ray smiles, small and thoughtful as he looks down at their joined hands, but he looks back up at her in earnest. To love Allison Hargreeves, even a day more, would be a blessing he could never repay. "If you'll have me."

There's an apology lingering in the back of her throat, ready to apologize for the chaos her presence in his life has caused, but she knows that's not how he intended his comment. Even in the worst of it, after finding the truth, Ray never left her. He never blamed her. He freaked out, yes, but it had been understandable. She had expected it. But she's glad that they have been able to get to this point - that she can be honest with him, that he can know all of it and he's still here. With her.

Her features soften when his fingers brush over her ring, and she tilts her head slightly as she watches him. They had only had one year together; one beautiful year that she never expected to have, and the idea that they could have more time together, that they could actually have a life here, it damn near knocks the air right out of her chest.

"I don't know what I did to ever deserve you, but I'm so thankful for you." She leans in to kiss him, soft and loving before resting her forehead against his. She knows this isn't forever, and although maybe she shouldn't be so willing to do this again considering she knows damn well how much it hurts - and she knows how finicky the portals can be, and that he can disappear at any moment, with or without goodbyes - she doesn't want to let this escape them. How can she, when she has been dreaming of this moment ever since arriving back in Eglaf?

"Nothing has changed, Ray," she assures him quietly. "I haven't taken off my rings, because I still feel like I'm married to this...amazing, wonderful man that I met in Dallas, in the sixties. A man that has the patience of a saint while his wife has a temper that can torch the world." She smirks faintly, but she pulls back slightly, just enough so she can meet his eyes. "I love you, Raymond Chestnut. And I'll have you, for as long as you'll let me."

Ray can't help but melt into the tender kiss, his eyes closing as their foreheads touch. If they could stay like this forever, he would have it, he would call himself a happy man and never emerge from whatever precious bubble this is. Sure, the world needs him, but for a moment, he just needs this.

"Well, patience of a saint I'm not so sure, but that temper..." He teases, whistling low as though it's something to be lauded. "But the thing is, I wouldn't have her any other way. Passionate and fiery and intelligent. Why I feel like I've pulled a star straight down from the sky and begged her to marry me. I'm just the luckiest man in the world that she said yes."

He laughs, a hand raising to cradle the side of her face, and he memorizes her features then, soaking in the very light of her if only so he can press a kiss to her forehead. "And I'll have her until the very day I die and turn into stardust myself. Nothing could bring me more joy than that."

He draws her other hand to his lips, kissing it softly. "That's a promise. I'm not so naive to think this place will let us stay forever. We've both got purposes greater than this moment, a plan set out for us whether we like it or not, but until that day, Allison Chestnut, I will not leave your side."

Ray smiles, warm and full and happy, because he'd never imagined this could happen. He never imagined he'd hold her again after that teary goodbye, never imagine that he could say the word wife again in the present tense. But here they are, two strange little stars trying desperately to find each other across the expanse of night and time.

"Now, I'll have a lot of questions, and I apologize for trying your patience, but I love you. Your family might take a little time, but all of this, everything you told me then and now, I love you for it. Don't you think otherwise. I don't think I got to say that proper before... well, when we said goodbye."

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